Say No to Divorce

This morning I asked my friend why did his wife wanted to divorce him, such a fine man like him. He said, she told him that she did not receive enough love.

In our case we women always want more. In this case, less is not best but more is good. More love and more attention. More hugs. More cherished words, more time. All of the above. Love unconditionally. Not once but every day. A few times every day. How can this happen in the fast-paced world of today?

Well, when love gets going, is given, received and given back, there is so much more energy, so much more purpose in one’s life. The tiredness goes away, the suffering in other areas of one life diminishes. It is a big dose of health, vitamins and pick me up. True love can cure all, I always heard.

I was very demanding to my husband. How could he cope with me? Many times I asked, please listen to me, to my story, to my pain with so and so. It was serious. He had to drop whatever he was doing and give me immediate attention. Now I am so eternally grateful for those moments. True love was a therapy to feel better.

Every one of us has to find a true love therapy which make us feel better. This New Year let’s proclaim a love therapy where we are the invitation to make someone feel better, more loved, more precious, more needed. “It is in giving that we receive.”

Always say no to divorce.

Elisabeth Seidel

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Die Große Liebe

As I was visiting my 97 years young mother-in-law in Vienna, I was surprised that she was still reading books. I thought she was only looking through magazines or mainly watching tv as entertainment if she was not on an excursion, or playing dominos.

But to my surprise she was reading a book from the American author Pearl Buck, and the title was “Die Große Liebe,” means “Le Grand Amour” or “The Great Love.”

Wow! She is 97 and reading love stories! I realized this ideal of ours never dies. At 100 you can still dream about love, true love, the one and only. This quest never ever ends and reading about it becomes so exciting, interesting and fulfilling.

I told Oma, I know who is my great love for ever and ever. And she had me tell her again and again my encounter with Dietrich, her son, which was love at first sight. And how it stayed this way during our 40 years of married life and beyond.

We are born this way that love is part of our inner self, and the most interesting topic, even when you reach 97.

To keep a true love is great work. If you did not find it yet, do not despair. One day every one of us will find their true, unique and forever love. This I believe.

Let’s spread more love around us, more loving words, more smiles, more random acts of kindness, and specially if someone attacks you let’s give back in kindness. We are changing ourselves so that a world of heart and love will come about.

In the photo below, you can see me with my beloved Dietrich, Oma, and Dietrich’s sister Gisela at the famous Prater in Vienna.

Prater Vienna

The Killer of Love

This month I would like to address a more serious topic.

As I was browsing through a website called HighNoon.org, I was reading that a high school student was wearing a tee shirt that said:

LIVE FOR LOVE.

PORN KILLS LOVE.

And this fact stirred a lot of discussions among the students.

Addiction is fueled in secrecy, and conquered in a community.

THE KILLER OF LOVE

The average age at which students start watching porn is eleven years old, yes 11. There are claims that the pornography industry is directly targeting children.

My cousin Karine, a high school teacher, said to me, every day at school I see the damage that cell phones and internet do to our kids, this is why my husband and I choose not to buy cell phones for our own children and very much limit their use of the Internet.

Those dark forces out there are destroying our youth and our families, and must be conquered if we want to live a happy and fulfilling life with real love. Those addicted to porn cannot anymore have a functional intimate relationship with their spouse.

FIGHT FOR LOVE

Protection of the family is one of the most important tasks to save a sick society. Porn addiction destroy marriages and put people into deep depression and violent behavior. We need to heal all addictions and become functional again. There is a similarity between the illegal drug industry and the pornography industry.

BELIEVE IN LOVE

HighNoon.org” and other websites are developing to help people heal. Like “FightTheNewDrug.org” or “EndSexualExploitation.org” and “YourBrainOnPorn.com”.

I pray for the healing of America and our own family. Let’s heal ourselves that we can heal others. One day all of us will find the true love we are longing for.

Elisabeth Seidel

Making a World of Peace One Family at a Time

In his article The Significance of the family for World Peace, my husband Dietrich quoted Mitch Albom saying “The family is the only secure foundation. You must have the support and love of a family or you don’t have much at all.”

Looking back at my relationship with my husband, I had many days when I was feeling in great agony. Those were the days when we had a fight. A volcano would erupt from time to time.

Dietrich’s Chinese Zodiac sign is the Ram (Lamb). He is extremely patient. My sign is the Rooster, and I am extremely impatient. When reading about compatibility between the Ram and the Rooster it says the relationship is most difficult but not impossible – the Ram does not know what to make of the Rooster.

So, we had to tackle so many impossible situations. My specialty was to erupt quickly; for him nothing would really trigger him. If I was hurt, unhappy, upset and the like I would not talk to him for hours. But I was in very deep agony. All my energy, zest for life, raison de vivre, joie de vivre, purpose and goals were gone. I was most miserable.

Then I noticed the same pattern always coming from him, “We need to talk.” To show my dissatisfaction I totally refused at first, letting out some more steam and eruptions. But truly I was not happy in this state. No matter what, we had to work it out. We needed to forgive each other and reconcile and start anew.

Then I realized we needed to talk. He always left me plenty of space and a listening ear to digest all my arguments, but he was always the first to say “I did not mean to hurt you. This was not my intention. Please forgive me.” Then I could open up to him again, letting go of my anger.

The point was that both of us we were absolutely anchored in God and in our belief that we must work out our differences to be a happy couple. And we would never let go of that.

To conclude, when there is a fight one of us has to say “We need to talk” and apologize, saying “It was not my intention to hurt you. Please forgive me.” Lend a listening ear and a forgiving heart and conclude it with a deep hug. Hugs are warm, cozy, bringing the affection needed for everyday life.

True love is not impossible. In fact, it is our raison de vivre, our joie de vivre.

Much love to all of you.
Your friend Elisabeth