marriage

How shall we live then?

Posted on by jptanabe

When my husband was on earth, here and there in our daily life he would drop one word or one sentence that was very meaningful to me. I could chew on it for days.

I remember him saying that “HAPPINESS IS A LIFE WELL LIVED.”

How then do we create a beautiful life?

He also quoted Socrates’ constant question, “how to live the good life?” He said that the good life is accomplished if you live a virtuous life, if you live according to the virtues. This was the Greeks’ simple formula for ethical conduct.

In my experience in building a meaningful happy relationship with Dietrich, a life well lived was a life where we loved our neighbors. Service to others brought us happiness, caring for the world brought deep emotions towards each other. We knew that praying for others not only brought relief to the person prayed for, but deep joy in our soul.

Sometimes the closest neighbor was the spouse we had to love when we could not, but did. Sometimes it was the prodigal son or daughter, we thought is lost forever. 

We cannot make happiness on other people’s misery. The happiness of your child comes before your own. You cannot leave your family. This would be misery instead of happiness.

In other words, what brings a couple together is not only sex, but a common goal rooted in committed love. It is being willing to make sacrifices for the betterment of the marriage and family, and every day making choices by discerning right from wrong, good from evil, sacred from profane

So to live well means constantly making the right choices, by developing our character according to the virtues and according to God’s principles until we become each other’s true love. We can never separate from each other as happy families make a happy world.

We were not part of the “ME First” culture, but doing things together for others we were better lovers, and we gave True Love to each other. We did create a beautiful life worth living. This is our secret treasure for eternity.

Your friend, Elisabeth Seidel

PS: Here is Dr. Tyler Hendricks’ talk on Happiness. Dietrich and Tyler were colleagues at the Unification Theological Seminary and good friends. I hope you enjoy this presentation on “The Path to Happiness.”

A Christmas True story

Posted on by jptanabe

It was the end of the year 1976 in New York City. I had just come from France a few months earlier and was adapting to the American life, away from my hometown in the French Alps. and Paris where I had lived.

My job at that time was in a showroom in a French jewelry company on Fifth Avenue. That day I had an appointment with a chiropractor, but I never arrived there. In fact something happened that would change my life and destiny.

I was a bit late, and like all New Yorkers, I started rushing, in the streets. As the street light was changing from red to green, I was the first one running to cross the street. I never made it to the other side.

One car had the same idea to dash through the changing light. It hit me in the back, which projected me on to the ground and I saw the four wheels passing over me. I heard people screaming at the horrible scene. In this split second I screamed to God “Heavenly Father my life is for you.” I was surprised at this audacious sentence to my Heavenly Father.

In a dream state I felt the car was lifted over my body in order not to crush me. A band of angels were by my side; a heavenly presence surrounding me.

As I was laying on the ground, trying to figure out what had happened, the car driver came out of his car screamed at me and left.

Another young guy said he called an ambulance and one lady and other passersby stayed with me till the ambulance arrived. The lady said “I saw Jesus, and he saved your life.” These were words of love and comfort.

I did not see Jesus, but I felt a Heavenly presence, I felt the angels dispatched in New York City. That day I was giving my life for God and he gave it back to me.

Besides a serious broken arm injury and a few days at the hospital I was fine. I spent Christmas that year in a cast and was so grateful to be alive.

I always felt I had a life mission. In fact, a few months later, I met my true, forever love. It was a snowy day with snowflakes all around in the beautiful Belvedere estate in Tarrytown, where in the spring the four-leaf clovers grow. There was to be a marriage blessing, and I was there with my new husband to be.

This was my Christmas miracle. Thank you that I could share it with you.

Your friend, Elisabeth Seidel

The Worst and Best Gift Ever

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Early in our marriage when my husband was studying for a PhD in theology in Toronto and my birthday came around, this particular day he surprised me with a gift. He must have been thinking hard what to get me. and he was practical.
 
When I opened my present, it was AN UMBRELLA! Oh no! Not this! How unromantic! Not that I enjoy walking in pouring rain because it was October, my birthday month, but I can buy myself such a thing. I just wanted something else, even if students are poor, or in debt, could not make ends meet. I just wanted something else.
 
Like what? Perhaps a dress, a blouse, a perfume, a necklace, an expensive ring? Chosen thinking of me his beloved wife. Women never have enough of those. A night at a restaurant, a get away from it all.

Given our situation, I could have toned down my expectations. But did not Mark Gungor, a marriage expert, say that to please a woman, “You need to love her. Die for her. Take her for dinner. Miss the game for her. Buy her jewelry. Be interested in what she has to say.” (I will let you guess his opinion on how to please a man.)
 
I love my husband to the moon and back, but choosing a gift was kind of hard for him. After that there were some improvements. One year I got an envelope with a card with loving words and 40 dollars. I have to confess then I got 40 dollars for my birthday every year for the next 30 years or more while he was alive.
 
Forty was a good number for him, because he loves numbers. He always said, “God loves numbers. God is a great mathematician.”
 
My husband is a man who never changed. I also liked that he never changed. I was his only begotten wife. One man, one woman. No adultery. True love never changes.

Every year I knew what I would find in an envelope: a special card with loving words written with loving care in a most elegant handwriting and 40 dollars. More gifts to redeem came along, like a body massage, foot massage done by him, restaurant of my choice, and one get away to enjoy within the year.
 
It got even better for our thirty-year blessed marriage anniversary: We went to Europe by boat (the Queen Mary) to visit our relatives (my idea).
 
One Christmas I dragged him to a department store to show him where the rings with precious stones were displayed. Because there were on sale, I got one as blue as blue can be. I always feel God’s love in precious stones. God made the beautiful creation for His children to enjoy. He wants everyone to appreciate the beauty He made for us. By now I knew how to talk to a theologian.
 
But my most precious gift was truly the undivided love.
Love between husband and wife does not fluctuate.
Love is a commitment.
Love is eternal.
 
My husband’s greatest gift was to love God, and to love me.

Your friend, Elisabeth Seidel

God’s Problem Solvers

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We Blessed Couples who have received the Holy Marriage Blessing are God’s problem solvers.
 
People are suffering here on earth. There is so much dysfunction and division. Sin is an addiction for most people. We are here every day to solve problems.
 
I remember when my husband, Dietrich, was counseling couples, he could always think of a remedy for their different difficult situations:

  • The first one was always to keep faith.  
  • The second one, go to church together. This acts like a protection. We always need protection every single day of our life.
  • Then, always pray together. This is our anchor, our stabilizer. Our assurance for Heavenly Parent to be with us.  

I do not like to eat alone. I know for sure my husband does not like to eat alone either.
Now that Dietrich is no longer with me on the earth, I wish I could just see him next to me again.
 
In fact, we Blessed Couples are supposed to open up the communication between the two worlds. Even though we are not mediums, we can talk by feelings, sending loving thoughts, and receiving joyful impressions.
 
Sharing heartfelt sorrows rejuvenates our spirit of love, because we need to function as a couple in two different worlds, always together. As Dietrich said “Beloveds, forever together.” This way we continue to be God’s problem solvers.

Your friend, Elisabeth Seidel

Love Travels Everywhere – A Spiritual Reading

Posted on by jptanabe

When my husband Dietrich passed away in 2016, I felt extremely lonely, with tears in my eyes every day. How could I continue a loving relationship with my spouse after he left?

When he was staying at the hospital, I would call him first thing in the morning to wish him a good day and pray together over the phone with him. After he passed, I continued calling him first thing in the morning, pretending I was calling heaven and asking my angels for connection with my husband. I was talking to Dietrich in one way conversation. This helped me a lot to go over the grief and loneliness. I felt he was hearing me.

I also read all the books I could find at the library, about the other world, including his “Eternal Life in the Spirit World.” I learned I could continue the love we experienced on the earth because love travels everywhere, and I sensed his presence when he was visiting.

Over the years some medium friends gave me hopeful and interesting messages here and there. Some are clairvoyants (they can see pictures), others clairaudients (they can hear), others clairsentients (they can feel emotions and energy vibrations).

Spirit world does exist. We were born to live together forever with our loved ones in the spirit world after we die. But the communication has been severed, because of the fall of man as mentioned in the Bible (Genesis chapter 3).

In today’s modern world some scientists are busy inventing a “spirit world machine” where they can receive the different vibrations coming through the other side. It is the time when many inventions will be made possible because God’s providence is progressing, and among all the wars and rumors of war a better world of peace will be established and better communication for all. This makes me happy.

Now I want to share with you my latest message received from the other world.

SPIRITUAL READING

The medium started by describing an underground room with heavenly light. There was an angel sitting at the table. It was an old-fashioned check in, with an Austrian atmosphere from Tyrol. A second angel as a security guard took her upstairs.

There was a handsome man, taller than average with a beautiful smile, my husband Dietrich. He gave me a big hug, saying thank you, merci. He showed me the four-position foundation diamond shape, the beautiful foundation of the universe.

He said I am a champion of going through trials, and he gave me tools to face new challenges. He told me that even if nobody reads my stories right now, the stories will be a treasure. There are many stories to tell where I came out victorious. He asked me to please preserve all my stories and write more. Any work that he left behind please do it. Write your personal memoirs; it is very valuable, our life together.

Outside Unification Theological Seminary where Dietrich taught for many years

Then there was an open field with two houses, and he wanted to show both of them.

The first is a big house with a team of many people working together with many angels. They watch what is happening on earth. It is a very high-tech place, where he does his official public mission. The work involves looking for people who can receive a higher understanding of truth. Dietrich’s passion is to give deeper truth, with no end of understanding. He will be forever a student of truth.

The other building is a small hut, just two rooms. It has no bathroom or kitchen, because they are not needed in the spirit world. It is very rustic, in the mountains, similar to the Austrian huts. Mountains represent the high spirit world. This is where Dietrich goes for alone time with God, where he recharges himself from the intensity of his mission.

He goes to this cabin in the mountains with pen and paper. There he meditates, converses with God. God gives him a theme and he develops it, writing down inspiration as it comes to him. He has a notebook and pencil; nothing high-tech. When he gets these understandings, he gives them to people on earth.

This cabin is his happy place, where he likes to be alone with God. It is his place to rest, a place to recharge his energy away from the intensity of work. It is a simple place, and it is enough for him. Now he lives in his mountain cabin, and likes it there, but want me to have comforts. He is preparing something very dignified for me like for a queen, and many wonderful surprises, in a beautiful place in the spirit world for when I come!

Dietrich said he knows I miss him. He misses me differently because he visits me on a regular basis. He can hear me, even when I do not hear him. He wishes he could talk openly with me and make me laugh. He suggested I practice laugh therapy. He said he misses our conversations and my feedback. He is very proud of me.

Concerning our ancestors, there are so many of them. There are lots of people coming forward, and they are bringing foods. There is lots of support around me and a lot of gratitude. They bring good things, healing, sustenance for my children, love and tenderness. A gentleman is bringing tomatoes. A lady, probably my mom, reminds me how to make the best of every situation. If you have nothing but carrots you can make a delicious soup. She was grateful for what she did have. She could make delicious dishes out of nothing. Dietrich’s parents brought wine in heavy chests, each one with a label of love from different years, very special. Dietrich gave me a huge heart of chocolates, and a good bye hug.

True love travels everywhere!

Your friend, Elisabeth Seidel

Healing Hands

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I remember the first time Dietrich held my hand. Just minutes after seeing me, he took both my hands into his, and said he liked me.

The second time he took my hand was a few days after our Holy Marriage Blessing, when I visited him in Barrytown. We went for a walk somewhere beautiful together with his friend, Dr. Masuda, and his new wife. Both couples were holding hands. I recall the nature being more beautiful than usual. The deer were greeting us. To walk hand in hand with my new husband was a heavenly experience; so much electricity and love was passing through our touch. Throughout our life we always held hands.

I also remember when I was in the midst of trouble, hardship, sorrow, confusion, in the midst of tears, just to know his hand was near, and I could reach out to him, gave me courage to go on. Without his hand nearby I could not persevere.

I remember sometimes feeling exhausted at night, refusing to stand another 5 minutes, or refusing to get up in the early morning. But hearing his voice praying to heaven, I felt so comforted and secure. It was music to my ears. Then I would ask him to massage me back to life. His touch transformed my depleted energy into new hope and new life. Hands have healing energy.

When my mother was spending her last days on earth at the retirement home in our hometown, my family took turns to be with her so that she was never alone. She was very scared of dying, because during her life she did not take the opportunity to love God, did not want to, or could not do it because she had endured so much pain and difficult circumstances. But somehow, she loved her son-in-law like her own son. So, Dietrich was assigned to be with her at night.

She wanted to hold hands during the day with my brother or me, her daughter. She held our hands very tenaciously. Even when she could not talk or drink anymore, holding on to our hands was the last sign of life. At night my husband would hold her hands with gratitude and deep love for his mother-in-law. He would sing lullabies to her.

When I remember the scene of my mom dying and Dietrich holding her hands singing lullabies from his sleeping bag on the floor next to her, tears roll down my cheeks. It was really comforting and beautiful. God must have been comforted by this scene as well.

Before Dietrich passed, he was in the ICU intubated because he could not breathe anymore. The doctors had to trap his hands in what looked like handcuffs so that he would not take the tube out of his mouth. The moment I came to visit I would liberate him and hold his depleted hands. And when it was his time to go, the night before our daughter Diesa, holding his hand, asked him to wait a little longer until we all came again to say good bye.

The hands of blessed couples receive the divine power of Heavenly Parent. Now that Dietrich is not here, how I long to hold his hand again.

Married at First Sight

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Last night I felt drawn to the reality tv series called “Married at First Sight.”

Since there are so many singles feeling lonely and looking for love and marriage, a team of psychologists, sexologists, sociologists and marriage counselors matched six couples from a large pool of volunteers. These six couples, matched by this team of experts, were supposed to marry the moment they met each other.

It looked a bit like my own matching and wedding.

In fact, those six couples, in my opinion, looked like excellent matches for each other. Even though this team of professionals claimed that nobody did this before, I have to say the Rev. Moon did exactly that during his life time.

With insight and intuition, by looking spiritually into our lineage of ancestors, and through our body characteristics, he would determine the best matches. But we still had our portion of responsibility to make our marriage work.

In his book, “Reflections on Unification Theology: Revealing the World of Heart,” my husband, Dietrich, wrote:

“God’s vertical love is perfected through the horizontal love of human beings, in the highest form through the husband-and-wife relationship. That model is then extended to how families relate to each other, and how nations relate to each other. The whole Kingdom of God is characterized by these loving relationships.”

When we resemble God, that is our original value, our divine value. And, as Dietrich stated, we resemble God through the love relationship of a couple in a God-centered marriage. We can only enter the Kingdom of Heaven with our spouse. This is our salvation.

Today we need to recover the family, which has been under attack since the beginning of time. If we do not have a family, we do not have much at all.

That is why singles feel lonely and want to find love, and why popular television shows like “Married at First Sight” attract many viewers.

I pray you find your true love.

Your friend, Elisabeth Seidel

Together is Better

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Upon getting up one day, I was mad, mad at my husband. Super mad. I did not like the habit of his to be late, very late or a little late, but late anyhow.

I preferred Princess Diana’s way. She could be late because of who she was, but she was always on time or earlier. Early is on time, on time is late, and late is unacceptable. This is a way to show love and gives the message, “I care about you.”

When my daughter Diesa was at Marist college in Poughkeepsie, part of the Red Foxes basketball team, they had a rigorous training schedule. They had to be on the court or the gym at 5 am, which meant be there 15 minutes earlier for warm up. If they were late, they had to do push-ups. This has stayed with her for her whole life. She is always early for appointments.

Of course, Dietrich’s mom (Oma) knew of her son’s habit of being late, because whenever we were invited to her favorite restaurant, or any other place, it was hard to make it on time. One day Oma noticed I was frustrated and gave me some advice: “In these circumstances take your purse and go. Do not wait for him.” Nice advice when your mother-in-law takes your side!

We were living in the woods one hour from Vienna. That morning, Dietrich was preparing to go to Vienna to teach at the Vienna International University, and I was supposed to go to the city with him. As usual things got scrambled and hurried, and I knew my husband was going to speed all the way to the capital, leaving me in a state of anxiety.

So that morning I took my purse and went. I not only took my purse, but I took the car as well, so he was left without transportation. He had to walk to the train station, change trains and get the subway. He would not be on time for his class for sure, and because of that, he was very mad as well.

Meanwhile I was climbing in the Vienna woods with the car, almost surprised by my actions. But I did not feel comfortable with the negative emotions stirring in my heart.

I was climbing up to the famous Hohe Wand, fuming all the way there. It is about 1000 meters high with a breathtaking view well loved by the Viennese for weekends or holidays.

I started walking away through the evergreens, trying to pray for the day, but was not doing so well. Then I found a hut, as you always do when you go through the paths in the Vienna woods. I decided to have some breakfast there. It was still in the early hours of the morning, so no guests were there yet.

I started feeling awkward as the owner was staring at me not understanding my German. He was wondering, “Why is she here by herself at this early hour, alone when everybody still in bed, and she can’t even speak the language.”

The breakfast that day was not tasting so good. In fact, it was tasting almost bad. There was no flavor, no warmth to it. It tasted cold and unappealing. I was starting to feel all alone, from lonely to miserable. Was it worth all the drama? Could there be another way? I was feeling I was right and my husband was wrong. But is it not that we can let the right go, for the sake of peace?

I was not too proud of myself. I had to make a plan to become smarter than him, because deep inside I never wanted to fight. I like harmony and peace. So that day I made up my mind that I would say the time of all my appointments will be half an hour earlier. I will change the time with Dietrich and then relax and still be on time for my schedule.

Let’s not react with toxic emotions. I never liked to fight with my husband. Neither did he. The hardships and difficulties made us grow. To attain a better character and lifestyle we should learn to harmonize with each other and always make peace. Together is better.

Elisabeth Seidel

Backward Thinking

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In our precious family, the mom (me) was labeled “backward thinking” by the daughter of the family, and the dad (my true love) was labeled “ok thinking,” because of who he is, she said.
Backward thinking means I do not fully comprehend or acknowledge the hurt of others in the past or present she said.

I myself am from the older generation who happened to make amends and reparations for the unity and reconciliation and restored love between the European countries who were at war with each other. Dietrich, my husband, came from German Austrian parents, with ancestors from Hungary. I have French, Italians, and ancestors from the House of Savoy which was once a sovereignty in Savoy between Switzerland and Italy in the French Alps. Often, my husband talked about the Alps, as you find them in many countries. The mountains united us.

Because of the World Wars, reparations between the French, Germans and Austrians started right there the day of our holy wedding. That was day one of the 40 years of reparations, amends and true love, the time we were married together on this earth. Through loving me, my husband brought comfort and reparations to my ancestors.

I was representing all of them. through loving me unconditionally, he could reverse the pain, suffering, and abuse of the World Wars. Even some days I was not lovable, he loved me anyway. True love has no borders. By giving true love the wars were forgiven.

Myself too, I had to learn to forgive, even when it was Impossible. I did forgive. Our marriage blessing was for the sake of our nations.

So, I would say that the quickest way to offer reparations is to be more loving, more forgiving, more embracing, and as Jesus said, “Love your enemy.”

When we walked into this room to receive the holy wine ceremony at the Belvedere estate and three days later at the New Yorker Hotel to receive the holy water marriage blessing ceremony from the late Rev. Moon, who is well known for marrying former enemies to each other, we did not fully realize how much hard work it would be to love one’s enemy. It took 40 years.

My daughter, Diesa, who first said in one of our conversations that whatever I was saying was backward thinking, after hearing me talking about our love story she agreed that this was forward thinking, because of our determination and desperation to love each other despite our differences and our parents and grandparents and ancestors being former enemies.

I am eternally grateful to my late husband that we could do this to advance peace and love for all humankind.
Elisabeth Seidel

Love is the Most Powerful Force of All

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There is no greater force against evil in the world than the love of a man and a woman in marriage.

Cardinal Raymond Burke

As I was browsing Facebook, I stopped at this sentence from Cardinal Burke. I savored it for a long time. It was illustrated with a most stunning painting of a man and a woman dancing tenderly together as their kids, 5 and 7 years old it seemed, sat and watched. What a beautiful sight! Love is the most powerful force of all.

On Tuesday August 13, 1963, I wrote in my journal: “It is wonderful to think that soon I will be 18, all of a life to fill, so many things to get to know, and not knowing yet who will be the man of my life.”

Fast forward to February 1977. Just a few days before our wedding day, February 21, I was in the library at Belvedere estate together with many single men and women, who had come there to hear a speech from Rev. Sun Myung Moon.

I had heard rumors that Father Moon, as we call him, was preparing to conduct a Holy Marriage Blessing soon. Instead of a speech, Father Moon asked if we wanted him to start matching us right away! I was taken by surprise, a little in shock, and suddenly overcome by anticipation.

Father Moon started on the spot. He would ask a participant to stand up, ask a few questions and then point at a woman in the crowd. The two would then proceed to another room to talk and decide if they would accept the match. They would then return to the library and bow to Father and Mother Moon if they accepted. That afternoon 12 couples were matched. The next day the matching would continue.

When we were matched, Dietrich and I talked shortly. He said, “I like you.” I said, “I like you too.” As he was holding my hands, I was looking into his romantic green eyes and transported into the heavenly realm where God was telling me “I will love you through him.”

A few days later, on the 21st of February 1977, the Holy Marriage Blessing ceremony was held with 74 couples.

So, I totally agree with Cardinal Burke: There is no greater force against evil in the world than the love of a man and woman in marriage. 

Elisabeth Seidel