marriage

Insights into Marriage and Family

Posted on by jptanabe

When my late husband, Dr. Dietrich Seidel, started working on his Ph.D. thesis on Marriage and Family our relationship greatly improved. It was because he did so much research into the topic and applied his findings to our daily life.

This month, I want to recommend to you “Unification Insights into Marriage and Family,” a collection of his writings. The family is so precious, and you need skills to navigate your life.

Unification Insights into Marriage and Family

Learn the basics from this book

BUY it here!


Here are some reviews to let you know more:

This book will make you think-and more importantly feel-what God’s hope is for humankind in terms of genuine love between human beings and God. It will help you discover a new understanding of the kind of love God wants to see expressed between husband and wife and among members of each and every family around the world, and how this can be achieved.

Dietrich Seidel is both a devoted husband and father and a consummate theologian and educator. In addition, he and his wife Elisabeth have been globe-trotting marriage and family coaches, offering seminars and workshops on improving marriages and overcoming self-centeredness in relationships. These experiences have uniquely qualified Seidel to write this book of essays.

As you read, you will find yourself transported from the fascinating details of his life presented in his autobiographical essay, to Olympian insights about how love develops between God and us (with our Herculean effort), to nuts-and-bolts pointers on how to strengthen the fiber of our love for our spouse as well as how to maintain a good give and take of love with our children.

All in all, it is hearty food for the intellect and for the soul.

~Robert Selle, writer, Washington DC.

Seidel’s work is remarkable for its scope and depth, its clarity and its personal touch. With writings ranging broadly from thoughtful scholarly analysis to devotional confession to wise guidance on family dynamics, this volume is a rich resource for anyone seeking greater understanding of Unification teachings, of one man’s spiritual journey or practical ideas for nurturing family harmony. A rich treasure from a deep-hearted scholar.

~Farley Jones, President, Pacific Rim Education Foundation

This collection of writings by academic Dietrich F. Seidel offers many highlights in the life of this remarkable man. His scholarly articles reveal his genuine intellect, devotion to God and desire to see harmony between religion and science. But it is his wise and passionate marriage writings that appeal to me, a lay marriage mentor. Dietrich understood that loving relationships are paramount to a happy, satisfying life—and well worth the investments of time, energy and affection. Anyone in search of sound advice about marriage and parenting will be well served by his words.

~Cheryl Wetzstein, veteran journalist, lay marriage mentor, wife and mother

Nos trésors au ciel

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Durant notre mariage, je demandais souvent à mon mari : « Qu’est-ce que tu aimerais manger ce soir ? » et sa réponse était toujours la même : « Des restes. »

Pas très original, certes, mais il avait toujours très faim. J’ai vite compris qu’il me fallait toujours prévoir une quantité impressionnante de nourriture. Il n’était pas nécessaire pour lui que le repas soit délicieux ou exotique ; du moment que la portion était généreuse, il était satisfait.

Il racontait souvent comment sa mère préparait des nouilles sucrées après la guerre, quand la nourriture était encore rare à Vienne.

Pendant la Seconde Guerre mondiale, alors qu’il était encore bébé et que les sirènes annonçaient l’approche des bombardiers et que chacun devait se mettre à l’abri, sa famille courait se cacher dans une cave, espérant survivre. Oma, sa mère, m’a raconté que Dietrich avait une pneumonie, mais qu’ils devaient malgré tout rester là de longues heures, transis de froid. Elle craignait que son enfant ne survive pas. Finalement, ils purent prendre le dernier bateau sur le Danube au départ de Vienne et s’enfuir à la campagne où Oma pourrait travailler dans une ferme et où il y aurait plus à manger. La vie est souvent dramatique, comme un roman, jusqu’au dernier moment où Dieu intervient.

La grand-mère de Dietrich, Léopoldine, dut rester sur place. Elle avait du mal à se nourrir. Pendant longtemps, elle n’eut que du sucre à la maison ; elle en prenait donc une demi-cuillère à café le matin et une demi-cuillère à café le soir. À leur retour après la guerre, sa famille eut du mal à la reconnaître. Elle était si maigre et paraissait si malade. Elle devait rester alitée la plupart du temps pour économiser ses forces.

C’est peut-être une des raisons pour lesquelles mon mari avait toujours si faim.

Un jour, une amie m’a demandé d’un ton accusateur pourquoi je donnais des restes à mon mari. En réalité, il ne voulait jamais rien jeter.

Il était très économe. Que voulait-il pour son anniversaire ? Rien du tout. Même si nous lui faisions toujours des surprises, il disait n’avoir besoin de rien. Ma fille et moi étions fières de lui offrir des vêtements propres et décents. Sa devise : « Le meilleur moyen d’économiser, c’est de ne pas dépenser. »

Il était généreux. Pendant nos fiançailles, qui ont duré très peu de temps, il m’a donné tout l’argent qu’il avait sur lui. J’étais très touchée par ce geste. Je me souviens d’avoir eu envie d’aller prendre un café un jour, alors que nous nous promenions, mais il ne me l’a pas proposé. Je me suis demandé pourquoi. C’était sa façon d’être.

Quant à moi, j’ai toujours eu un faible pour les bagues, pour les objets exotiques et magnifiques, que je ne pouvais pas m’offrir. Ma préférée aurait été une émeraude d’un vert profond, semblable à celle que j’ai vue dans un musée viennois de bijoux ayant appartenu à des rois et des reines.

Mais sa générosité et son dévouement étaient ce qu’il y avait de plus précieux ; des qualités que les cartes de crédit ne peuvent acheter.

Il aurait pu devenir prêtre, avec toutes les restrictions et les vœux de pauvreté que cela implique. Au lieu de cela, il a choisi de fonder une famille et d’y respecter ses vœux éternels de fidélité, d’amour du prochain et d’altruisme.

C’est ce qui a été le plus précieux. C’est notre trésor pour l’éternité.

Love Stimulates Love

Posted on by jptanabe

“What’s wrong with the world…People livin’ like they ain’t got no mamas.”
This is from the song “Where Is the Love?” by the Black Eyed Peas.

On each trip to the library, I pick up a few books on marriage and relationships. This has always been for me the most interesting topic as life is all about relationships. if we can get the fundamental relationship of husband and wife going strong and the family is well, then all will be well.

In his book Family First, Dr. Phil shares that he has an obligation to protect and care for his family. He and his wife made a pledge to each other and their family, reporting to God in prayer.

The other book I picked was the The Good Marriage: How and Why Love Lasts, by Judith S. Wallerstein and Sandra Blakeslee. They said that one in two marriages ends in divorce, and one in three children can expect to experience their parents’ divorce. The bride and groom themselves may question why they should marry, since it’s likely to break up.

To continue from The Good Marriage, the authors convey that even happily married men and women can get depressed, lose jobs; they cry, yell, get frustrated; they come from sad, abusive neglectful backgrounds as well as from stable families. All marriages are haunted from things of the past.

Marriage counselors like to tell their clients that there are at least six people in every marital bed: the couple and both sets of parents.

My favorite book this month is by Gary Chapman, author of The 5 Love Languages. The title of his book is Love as a Way of Life.

Chapman said that his marriage radically changed after he asked his wife three questions every day:

1. What can I do to help you today?
2. How can I make your life easier?
3. How can I be a better husband to you?

He said when he asked these questions, his wife gave the answers with no reluctance. Her answers taught him how to express love to her in meaningful ways. Within a month, he saw a change in his wife’s attitude towards him. Within three months, she was willing to ask him those three questions in return. Their relationship took a positive turn. “Love always stimulates love.”

Chapman also mentioned that they gave each other complete access to computers, cell phones, and financial records. Being an open book to each other like this means not hiding anything, not cheating. It is better to share everything for protection, and be together in everything. He emphasized that no other man could treat his wife as well as he does. He believes he needed divine help in order to make love as a way of life.

I was very thrilled this month when my editor announced she transcribed sixteen tapes of Dietrich’s classes on Marriage and Family. Without God things become quickly impossible and hopeless! Dietrich was a theologian first and foremost. And second, he has the same dream as God, our Heavenly Parent, to make an eternal relationship with one’s spouse and God together. I have to say as his wife he did an excellent job!

Stay Connected to Your Spouse at All Times: If one of us is hurt, we are all hurt

Posted on by jptanabe

I read this quote on the internet:

“When a woman loves a man, and that man gives other women attention behind her back, she is not ‘jealous’ or ‘insecure’ but she is feeling hurt and betrayed by the man that says he loves her.”

For me this means protecting our boundaries, protecting the respect we have for each other, protecting our relationship from outsiders, solving our problems within our marriage, making our partner feel valued and secure by working to create unity with each other. It means giving attention to another woman (flirting) is cheating. An emotional affair is part of infidelity.

One of our life episodes was when Dietrich was finishing his doctorate in theology and we had two young children. Another lady was also finishing her doctoral studies.

One day my husband announced that he was going to study with her in her apartment for a few hours. I thought, “Oh, he needs to study and she too, and they are helping each other. And she is engaged to be married!”

But I did not like the fact that there would be alone in her apartment. After a few hours “she” drove him back to the park where I was waiting with the kids. I did not like the way she was looking at my husband. It did not feel quite right. It felt like an intrusion. That another “she” was having all the attention.

I did not feel “jealous” or insecure.” I felt deeply hurt.

It is said in the Bible that Jesus had to overcome three temptations. At that time my spouse was not realizing that it was a trap from Satan, and he was being tempted. “She” did not have pure motives.

We solved this situation pretty quickly, because we knew stuff! Alarm bells rang in our ears.

It is uncomfortable if a married man says to a woman that she is pretty. Never develop an emotional connection or digital connection with another woman. Emotion leads to physical action.

There are many ways to create inseparable bonds. You can have meaningful rituals that no interference can destroy.

My husband and I always prayed together. It means we built a wall of protection! We had daily meaningful conversations (we built intimacy). We solved our conflicts by researching problem solving.

We had lots of credit in our emotional bank account and if I ever said something unkind to him, he would look for ways to repay me with kind words and unconditional Godly love.

We had a spiritual life. We had a purpose. We had a highly ideal mission. Our mission was to be one, together is better. To be the other half of each other.

We resemble our Creator, our Heavenly Parent. When we reach that point, we become inseparable, from each other and from God. And there will be no more fallen humankind! Oh what a wonderful world!

Matchmaker Matchmaker Make Me a Match

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February is a lucky month.

My husband told me recently (from the spirit world) that it was then in February 1977 that he made the best decision of his life.

On a snowy day, where the four-leaf clovers grow piercing through the snow, he said “Yes.”

For me was the best day of my life.

It was a providential day, for when you said it you meant it.

A day when all promises are kept.

When the D-Day has finally come.

It was the best day of my life.

When in the Bible it said “they washed their robes and made them white.”

When on this day you said “Yes.”

When the seven years of tribulations, when all hell was let loose, when the evil one does not want any of this. But you came out victorious in the fierce battle.

The angels sang, and the New Hope Singers International, and the Go World Brass Band played on this particular day.

It was February 21, 1977, the best day of my life.

Calling Our Beloved’s Name

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There is meaning in a person’s name.

I remember when Dietrich called my name his voice had a special vibe, touching the deepest part of my heart. My name was becoming so beautiful!

After Dietrich had ascended, one day, when I called his name he replied:

“When you call my name, I can be there, no problem. I like when you call my name because this is a way that I feel loved.”

My good friend Dr. Laurent Ladouce wrote that when he heard his wife pronounce his name for the first time he felt reborn. That is so special!

You can read Laurent’s article about love here. He refers to my book, “Letters Beyond the Veil”! His comment about his wife calling his name is in his response to a reader of the blog.

Today Let’s Just Be Happy and Other Complicated Things

Posted on by jptanabe

“Mousey, today let us just be happy!” my husband would say from time to time. “Mousey” was our nickname. “Forget everything, take my hand, let’s run to the woods. Look up the sky that is true blue! Look down, the earth is fresh from the rain with multi colored flowers.”

Sometimes Dietrich would come up with a sentence that had deep meaning for the day and more. He was studying complicated things in theology and could condense the whole thing into one sentence, “Let us just be happy” (the purpose of life is joy).

When he was writing his Ph.D. dissertation, he chose the topic “Marriage and family in the Christian tradition.” The German theologian and philosopher, Friedrich Schleiermacher, was his interest. He was one of the first to break through about revolutionary ideas for marriage and family after the Protestant Reformation.

So, Dietrich wrote his dissertation on this subject. Then, years later, one day during a big clean up a copy of his dissertation went to the dumpster. Our daughter Diesa, who was then a college student, said she wanted it. Dietrich went back to the dumpster and retrieved this precious book, which then went back on a shelf.

A few years later I gave it to our editor, Dr. Tanabe. During the summer of 2024 she edited it and later surprised us by publishing it as a book to honor both Friedrich Schleiermacher and Dietrich Seidel.

The Christian foundation has been the bedrock for a happy marriage! Let us all be happy today!

When Our Beloved Spouse Ascends

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Birth, marriage, and death are the three main events in one’s life. We all wish to know, is there life after life? When I was a teenager, this was one of my fundamental questions.

The process of dying for my husband Dietrich lasted about a year. When he was in and out of the hospital for chemotherapy and infection, one day out of the blue I asked him bluntly, “Are you scared of dying?” He answered in a very calm voice, “No, it is very natural.”

How could I imagine that death was also something natural for him? I could not even entertain the thought, “What am I going to do without him?” I could not imagine him going away now, not so soon. But somehow his answer satisfied me. Passing into the next world should be something very natural.

He knew there are three stages of life: The first 9 months in the womb is a world of water. In the earthly life we are breathing air. The last stage is in the spirit world. Like the baby who goes through the tunnel of the uterus to be born, we also go through a tunnel to arrive in the next world. There we breathe love.

The hospital discharged Dietrich because there was nothing more they could do, and the hospice care began. Before he passed, I told him:

“Do not worry. I will take care of everything. Things I do not know about. Things I never did before. Things I do not want to do. Things I am afraid of. Things beyond myself. How to figure things out without you around. Things left unfinished. But do not worry I will take care of everything. All the wrongs, I will make right. All the pains, I will heal. All the miseries, I will make them joys. Because you left me with a reservoir of true love.”

The day he passed we began a different relationship together. I continued to have a relationship with Dietrich. I could not see him but we communicated with thoughts and feelings. I sensed his presence at times.

Because my husband and I were so close during our lifetime, we used to share everything; we talked a lot; we were the other half of each other. So of course, I have continued to share many things with him since his passing several years ago.

One night I had a short dream of Dietrich. Someone said, “Dietrich is on the phone.” So I rushed to the phone, thinking he was still in the hospital. When I picked up the phone, I just heard the sound of his voice far, far away. The communication had a bad reception and I could not understand what he was saying. When I woke up, I thought the connection will be better next time.

I talk to him while looking at his picture. I write letters to him. Sometimes he answers me like a deep intuition, an emotion, a subtle presence, a certainty, a love sentence coming at me out of somewhere. Then joy comes into my heart as a river of peace, a sense of protection and affirmation of the eternal. Is it not the cherished hope of humanity that we live forever? That there is life after life? I began writing my thoughts down, in the form of letters to my beloved. And I was able to receive his answers! One time I received:

“I am thrilled that you are writing to me. It is even better than the telephone because it is written, and I can read it again and again, the writings of my most beautiful wife!”

We were able to communicate because True Love travels everywhere. I am not a medium but I have deep intuition and feelings. Through thoughts, inspiration, and knowing, somehow, we did manage to understand each other and send letters back and forth, because of the love we experienced here on earth!

My children also had some experiences where their father visited them, touched their lives in a way that was meaningful to them. For that I am so grateful.

Last year, 2023, we celebrated seven years since Dietrich’s passing. A whole circle has been accomplished.

For me, even if he lives in a different dimension, we work and live together, we talk together, we cry together, we celebrate together, because true love never stops. It transcends barriers; the vibrations and energies go back and forth between the two worlds.

It has been a learning experience for me to live alone but together with Dietrich. I feel his presence every day and he is sending messages. Love travels everywhere. So, for these seven years my mission has been to put his life’s work together and to open more widely the gates of the Kingdom of Heaven.


My new book Letters Beyond the Veil describes my journey after my beloved Dietrich ascended to the eternal realm, including many of the letters we wrote to each other during the years since he passed.

For anyone whose beloved spouse, or someone very close in heart, has already ascended from this earthly realm, I hope this book will offer comfort, hope, and inspiration. One widow who read it said:

“I know many lives will be touched and comforted by this book as she shares practical ways God has given her to navigate through the grief process, as she remembers the special relationship she had and still has with her beloved. … She has encouraged me.”


For couples who will inevitably face the reality that one will ascend and the other will remain on earth, I can testify that although the pain is real, the connection, the love is not lost. We remain connected through the “veil” until we are reunited in the eternal realm.

Precious Counsel

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When we were young and awesome Dietrich and I gave counsels or tips to each other in order to have a better and happy life. I still find some pieces of paper with helpful words!

Here are some of the words of advice from Dietrich, which I always took to heart:

One: Do the little things that mean a lot
(One day out of the blue I shine his shoes)

Two: Talk with a pleasant voice
(Am I frustrated, irritated, upset? impatient? Which kind of energy am I communicating? Is it better if I can learn to control my emotions and my energy and reflect love, forgiveness, and understanding?)

Three: Know how to listen
(Am I here when he needs to talk?

Four: Believe in your husband’s potential
(All men need to be encouraged and valued and trusted)

I will add that money did not buy me love, but service to others brought me happiness.

Also, I love this quote from sister Lucia of Fatima: “The final confrontation between the Lord and Satan will be over family and marriage,” and my husband’s quote “the best therapy in the world is someone who cares about you!”

Have a blessed day!
Your friend, Elisabeth Seidel

Love Letters for Valentine’s Day

Posted on by jptanabe

During the 40 years of our married life on the earth Dietrich and I wrote many letters to each other, and we kept them all. They reveal the story of our life together, the romantic beginning, the hard struggles, and the true love centered on God that deepened over the years into an eternal, sacred bond.

For Valentine’s Day this year I want to share some excerpts from our letters:

To Dietrich:

“When you looked at me for the first time, I could see God in your eyes. There was so much understanding, goodness, and very deep love. I was so moved at that moment. How happy God must feel when He is at the center of a family. God can express Himself fully through a family, and that man during his lifetime must experience three kinds of love. It will be a wonderful adventure together to reach perfection!”

From Dietrich:

“You are more in my thoughts than my studies, and I still find it hard to fully get back to my class schedule. It feels to me that Heavenly Father performed one of His miracles to brings us two together. My whole outlook on life is changed since I became a married man.”

When we visited our families in Europe, mine in France and Dietrich’s in Austria, we faced many difficulties.

To Dietrich:

“My heart was so very painful the whole day and I know your heart was too. One thing for sure is that our ancestors have to unite together too, and this is a very difficult process. The fights are not only between both of us but between different nations.” 

 Dietrich’s encouraging response:

“We both know that we will find ourselves closer to each other if we both serve the higher purpose. … So much I wish we could always be deeply united with the love of our Heavenly Father. We have to determine every day to walk the path of restoration together and this way unite our family, our ancestors, and our countries. I will be with you in your prayers. I embrace you with all my heart.”

Before he passed, Dietrich told me “I will be always with you, forever together.” And it is true – sometimes I receive a hug from him in the eternal realm!

Please enjoy this recording of a talk I gave about our love story. Click this link or click on the image below to play the recording.

Your friend, Elisabeth Seidel