I read this quote on the internet:

“When a woman loves a man, and that man gives other women attention behind her back, she is not ‘jealous’ or ‘insecure’ but she is feeling hurt and betrayed by the man that says he loves her.”

For me this means protecting our boundaries, protecting the respect we have for each other, protecting our relationship from outsiders, solving our problems within our marriage, making our partner feel valued and secure by working to create unity with each other. It means giving attention to another woman (flirting) is cheating. An emotional affair is part of infidelity.

One of our life episodes was when Dietrich was finishing his doctorate in theology and we had two young children. Another lady was also finishing her doctoral studies.

One day my husband announced that he was going to study with her in her apartment for a few hours. I thought, “Oh, he needs to study and she too, and they are helping each other. And she is engaged to be married!”

But I did not like the fact that there would be alone in her apartment. After a few hours “she” drove him back to the park where I was waiting with the kids. I did not like the way she was looking at my husband. It did not feel quite right. It felt like an intrusion. That another “she” was having all the attention.

I did not feel “jealous” or insecure.” I felt deeply hurt.

It is said in the Bible that Jesus had to overcome three temptations. At that time my spouse was not realizing that it was a trap from Satan, and he was being tempted. “She” did not have pure motives.

We solved this situation pretty quickly, because we knew stuff! Alarm bells rang in our ears.

It is uncomfortable if a married man says to a woman that she is pretty. Never develop an emotional connection or digital connection with another woman. Emotion leads to physical action.

There are many ways to create inseparable bonds. You can have meaningful rituals that no interference can destroy.

My husband and I always prayed together. It means we built a wall of protection! We had daily meaningful conversations (we built intimacy). We solved our conflicts by researching problem solving.

We had lots of credit in our emotional bank account and if I ever said something unkind to him, he would look for ways to repay me with kind words and unconditional Godly love.

We had a spiritual life. We had a purpose. We had a highly ideal mission. Our mission was to be one, together is better. To be the other half of each other.

We resemble our Creator, our Heavenly Parent. When we reach that point, we become inseparable, from each other and from God. And there will be no more fallen humankind! Oh what a wonderful world!