Speaking without Thinking

“The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” (Proverbs 12:18)

Recently, as I was browsing through the newspaper at a local coffee shop, I happened to read my horoscope. It said: “You are advised to watch what you say. If you speak without thinking you can make yourself more enemies.”

Somehow, I had already done that. Too bad I read this advice for Libras too late. How important are our words! They can be like arrows being shot towards someone when we are in an argumentative mood. They can hurt someone’s soul, triggering anger and resentment back toward you, bringing up so much misunderstanding and confrontation that is not needed in our daily life.

We all have an opinion. The trick is to know how to express it in the right way, to explain our motivation, our concerns, the cause or person we are protecting or defending.

My husband was so good at it. I really miss that. He was my theologian. He could express anything with the right tone of voice, the perfect heart, a bit of humor. He never took himself too seriously. How he came up with the right words at the right time, never saying too much or too little.

Some days we could be out of sync and hell broke loose. One time I had an argument with a superior. Dietrich explained to me why it was important to create harmony and peace before we left that place. In other words, he asked me if I could apologize. At first, I could not. Eventually I did. This act brought me good fortune. When we arrived at our new destination I was right away promoted to a new position.

The internal work going on in our heart propels our fortune to appear at a new level. The same is also true for the person receiving our comments and our opinion, not to fire back, but rather to say “Ok. God bless!”

I am Your Child, Please Always Check on Me

When my daughter was young and we could not be at home at her bed time, she used to leave loving notes for us, her parents. “Dear Mommy and Daddy, I love you a lot! Please check on me right now.” “Mom, all I need from you is love.”

For Father’s Day, she said “Out of everything I learned from you, the things that I will always remember are the things that nourish the heart. You are an inspiration to me because of your unconditional love that you give, unconditionally.” “Dad, I still remember the very first thing you ever taught me … What it feels like to be loved.”

To be a parent, we learn to love unconditionally. This is why all of us should become a parent, to grow and feel God’s heart, because He loves us as a parent. Parental heart makes us more complete, more whole. Then we can love others too, as a parent.

If for any reason we cannot have children, then we can adopt, or be a foster parent, or adopt a loving animal with whom we can share our abundant love.

For My Mother

I wrote this poem in honor of my mother, originally in French. This month I want to share it with you, together with the English translation.

First, here is a photo of my mother, with her beautiful flowers.

My mother with her beautiful peonies

Parce que c’est ma mère

Beautiful mother
Mère de vie
Mère d’amour
Mère de coeur
        de bonté
        de tendresse
Mère généreuse
Mère pour tous
        C’est ma mère

Petite mère
Grand’mère
Belle mère
Belle dame
        très digne
Grande dame
Super Mom
        Beautiful mother
 
Mère de passion
Mère très aimée
Grand’mère adorée
Mère précieuse
        Un trèsor de mère
Mère pour tous
        Parce que
        c’est ma mère
        Beautiful mother
 
Mère de confiance
Mère de conscience
Mère d’authorité
        d’honnêteté
        de verité
        et justice
Mère de ses enfants
        C’est ma mère
        Beautiful mother
 
Mère de courage
        tenace
Mère Bélier
        fougueuse
Mère des montagnes
        de lumiere
        de tonnere
        et des éclairs
Mère du ciel
        des étoiles
        et firmaments
Mère pour tous
        C’est ma mère
 
Mère de pardon
        de renouveau
        réconciliante
        unifiante
Mère d’un monde
        d’amour
        vrai mère
Mère de tous
        C’est ma mère
        Beautiful mother!

Because it’s my mother

 Beautiful mother 
Mother of life
Mother of love
Mother of heart
           of goodness
           of tenderness
Generous
Mother for all
It’s my mother

Little mother
Grandmother
Mother-in-law
Beautiful lady
        Dignified
Great lady
Super Mom
Beautiful mother
 
Mother of passion
Mother well loved
Adored grandmother
Precious mother
Treasured mother
Mother for all
Because
it’s my mother
Beautiful mother
 
Mother of trust
Mother of conscience
Mother of authority
           of honesty
           of truth
           and justice
Mother of her children
           It’s my mother
           Beautiful mother
 
Mother of courage
           of tenacity
Mother Aries
           spirited
Mother of mountains 
           of light
           of thunder
           of lightning
Mother of heaven
           of the stars
           and firmaments      
Mother for all
           It’s my mother
 
Mother of pardon
           of renewal
           reconciling
           unifying
Mother of a world
           of love
           true mother
Mother for all
           It’s my mother
           Beautiful mother!

Signs from Above

In the early morning, going for my usual walk after some spiritual reading, and conversing, reporting to my husband Dietrich on the one-way phone calls, if I am attentive there is always a greeting, a sign coming from a tree, or the radio, or a word in my heart mind.

Today, my eye caught sight of a beautiful red bird in a bush. A feeling of love and beauty swelled in my heart, a most special greeting, a lovely hello, a sight from beyond the veil.

I came back home and there was a magazine open at a picture of a bright red bird, a cardinal, with the words “Messenger from Heaven.”

The page also had the words, “A gentle reminder that we’re never far apart, my spirit will live on forever there within your heart.” And in my mind, I remembered the words of the song, “And when the time comes, I will be there to meet you and welcome you home.”

This reminded me of the time Dietrich found a penny on our morning walk. I told him to keep it; put it in full view on the small table. The penny reminds me of God and the emblem of America.

Some days the dark is stronger than the light. Still we keep going, keep moving. At that time after a tearful morning prayer, I went for a walk. Suddenly a white truck appeared. On it side was the name of the company, and underneath were the words, “In God We Trust.” Definitely God was talking to me: “Trust Me,” I will protect you.

About Catherine

My friend Christine shared with me about her sister Catherine who passed away from leukemia when she was 19. Christine herself was 20 at that time, and all their life together they had been very close. At school they would find surprises in their backpacks from the other sibling, like special cookies or treat, a note. So their loving relationship could continue beyond this world.

One week before Catherine passed, she had a spiritual experience. She said a being of light came and held her in his arms, saying that her suffering would be gone very soon. It could have been Jesus or an angel who helps human beings transition to the other world.

This morning on Mother’s Day Catherine appeared to Christine wishing her a happy day.

I asked Christine, how does she appear to you? She said, like in a dream, but it is real.

In fact, also her ancestors, like her father and mother, are present for all the birthdays of each family member. Christine sees them happy to celebrate together.

Soon those two worlds will become one and we will spend time with each other as we wish. That will be the beginning of the Kingdom of Heaven, where everything that has been separated will be unified again. Like our mind and body, difficult relationships will become harmonious, peace will come in divided countries, and parents and children will find loving relationships again. I am longing for this world.

Elisabeth Seidel

Mom! Be Nice to Dad

“Mom, be nice to Dad!” My daughter responded, one day after I was using a sharp tongue towards my husband. It came to me as a surprising shock, as I was not even aware of my attitude. Sometimes too critical, or impatiently babbling something too fast or inappropriate. It stopped me in my tracks and I could reflect on my attitude.

I was not nice. To my husband.

I had a lot of reasons why. I could enumerate all of them. In order of importance.
But in the end, it does not matter the reasons why.
What does matter in the end is if we could love anyway.

Being always nice and pleasant speaking, and reconciling and agreeable. This is an art. An art of living together.
Responding in kind when we know the other one is wrong, or we think he is. Forgiving and going over the hurt of squabbling.
In the end it does not matter.
What matter is if we could love, anyway.

I have been doing a lot of thinking lately, reviewing different situations in my life where I was not nice, and changing them in my mind to the right response.

It is said that when you go to the spirit world, you first review your life. You experience how the other person felt when you were not nice, by your actions and behavior, and also when you were nice, what pleasant emotions you have given to others. This will determine the region where you will be residing in your eternal home.

Other situations were not closed well the way I would have wanted, which means with ultimate true love. So, in my mind I process them, asking for forgiveness, and also asking my husband from the other side of the veil to work at it. We can continue our relationship between the two worlds to make it in the end the perfect love we always wanted. Let’s be nice to each other.

Elisabeth Seidel

Say No to Divorce

This morning I asked my friend why did his wife wanted to divorce him, such a fine man like him. He said, she told him that she did not receive enough love.

In our case we women always want more. In this case, less is not best but more is good. More love and more attention. More hugs. More cherished words, more time. All of the above. Love unconditionally. Not once but every day. A few times every day. How can this happen in the fast-paced world of today?

Well, when love gets going, is given, received and given back, there is so much more energy, so much more purpose in one’s life. The tiredness goes away, the suffering in other areas of one life diminishes. It is a big dose of health, vitamins and pick me up. True love can cure all, I always heard.

I was very demanding to my husband. How could he cope with me? Many times I asked, please listen to me, to my story, to my pain with so and so. It was serious. He had to drop whatever he was doing and give me immediate attention. Now I am so eternally grateful for those moments. True love was a therapy to feel better.

Every one of us has to find a true love therapy which make us feel better. This New Year let’s proclaim a love therapy where we are the invitation to make someone feel better, more loved, more precious, more needed. “It is in giving that we receive.”

Always say no to divorce.

Elisabeth Seidel

Die Große Liebe

As I was visiting my 97 years young mother-in-law in Vienna, I was surprised that she was still reading books. I thought she was only looking through magazines or mainly watching tv as entertainment if she was not on an excursion, or playing dominos.

But to my surprise she was reading a book from the American author Pearl Buck, and the title was “Die Große Liebe,” means “Le Grand Amour” or “The Great Love.”

Wow! She is 97 and reading love stories! I realized this ideal of ours never dies. At 100 you can still dream about love, true love, the one and only. This quest never ever ends and reading about it becomes so exciting, interesting and fulfilling.

I told Oma, I know who is my great love for ever and ever. And she had me tell her again and again my encounter with Dietrich, her son, which was love at first sight. And how it stayed this way during our 40 years of married life and beyond.

We are born this way that love is part of our inner self, and the most interesting topic, even when you reach 97.

To keep a true love is great work. If you did not find it yet, do not despair. One day every one of us will find their true, unique and forever love. This I believe.

Let’s spread more love around us, more loving words, more smiles, more random acts of kindness, and specially if someone attacks you let’s give back in kindness. We are changing ourselves so that a world of heart and love will come about.

In the photo below, you can see me with my beloved Dietrich, Oma, and Dietrich’s sister Gisela at the famous Prater in Vienna.

Prater Vienna

The Killer of Love

This month I would like to address a more serious topic.

As I was browsing through a website called HighNoon.org, I was reading that a high school student was wearing a tee shirt that said:

LIVE FOR LOVE.

PORN KILLS LOVE.

And this fact stirred a lot of discussions among the students.

Addiction is fueled in secrecy, and conquered in a community.

THE KILLER OF LOVE

The average age at which students start watching porn is eleven years old, yes 11. There are claims that the pornography industry is directly targeting children.

My cousin Karine, a high school teacher, said to me, every day at school I see the damage that cell phones and internet do to our kids, this is why my husband and I choose not to buy cell phones for our own children and very much limit their use of the Internet.

Those dark forces out there are destroying our youth and our families, and must be conquered if we want to live a happy and fulfilling life with real love. Those addicted to porn cannot anymore have a functional intimate relationship with their spouse.

FIGHT FOR LOVE

Protection of the family is one of the most important tasks to save a sick society. Porn addiction destroy marriages and put people into deep depression and violent behavior. We need to heal all addictions and become functional again. There is a similarity between the illegal drug industry and the pornography industry.

BELIEVE IN LOVE

HighNoon.org” and other websites are developing to help people heal. Like “FightTheNewDrug.org” or “EndSexualExploitation.org” and “YourBrainOnPorn.com”.

I pray for the healing of America and our own family. Let’s heal ourselves that we can heal others. One day all of us will find the true love we are longing for.

Elisabeth Seidel

On Deepening Relationships

I came to Vienna with the American delegation for the Peace Starts with Me festival. As a few of us were visiting the heart of Vienna (which includes St Stephen’s Cathedral where Dietrich used to attend mass) we bumped into a Federation for World Peace member from France, and we started sharing.

Although from German descent he had been living in France for many years, and he explained to us that he had difficulties establishing deep meaningful relationships. Because of that, he felt unfulfilled, a little depressed, and that his life was at a standstill. We encouraged him, “never give up, continue the good work, at the end you will succeed.”

But is it not true that it takes two to tango? To have a happy life, we must make peace within ourselves, in our family, but also with our close neighbors, and establish deep meaningful relations to feel valued or embraced or understood. The give and take of love goes around and returns to the giver. We are born that way to connect with each other in a family, to connect with our community with love, empathy and care. No one should feel alone or neglected.

At Fairbanks Square loving community, I remember Stephan, who every day made a few trips to the garbage disposal. It was healthy for him to make a 2-minute walk from his apartment a few times a day; that makes 10 minutes and here is your workout for a 90 years old young man. But most of all in Fairbanks there are plenty of benches on the way to the garbage disposal and the chances are in Southern California you will meet someone sitting there. Stephan had plenty of opportunities each day to strike up a conversation, and that was even healthier than walking. He was indeed the first person I shared with about my tribe and the motto. He encouraged me and that made me feel good.

The other thing about Stephan is that he is always extremely helpful. When we could not put our sofa together I asked him, do you know a young man who could help us? He said he was the young man and he could put this thing together on the spot.

Stephan is so proud of his wife, Judith, saying that every morning she goes to church to give communion to people. To hear that, I was already impressed, so Judith and I met and we had many prayers together, and many deep memories of sharing love joy and sadness together. It was her that I called in a very difficult moment. After the funeral home came to pick up Dietrich’s body after he passed, I told Judith I am coming to your home for dinner tonight. She came to pick me up with Cathy, another wonderful neighbor and former nun. So I had dinner with Judith and Stephan and lunch with Cathy.

I want to try harder to make things around me more happy, more lovable. I want to take time to greet someone with a smile, and like Stephan did, serve someone today.

Did not Jesus say, love your neighbors like yourselves. If you love your neighbors you already love God.

Elisabeth Seidel